I feel as if I am growing out of kiddishness. And, I don’t necessarily mean that I am becoming more mature. I have to deal with adult issues all of the time, some that are deeply upsetting and require maturity, and I am expected to act like an adult about them, too. The trials of life have really set in, the business of the world has kicked in, and attitudes and feelings have taken hold. The simplicities of childhood are fading. A piece of this realization recently came to me in the form of a letter from a guy who I hadn’t exactly realized how badly I had hurt. I’m not ready for a dating/boyfriendish type of relationship right now, plus I was not interested in this particular guy. I think of him as a friend only, plus our families had been friends for a while. So, I would be nice around him and say hi if I saw him in the hall, but I didn’t want to be overly friendly around him because I didn’t want to lead him on. We also have a lot of mutual friends. So, anyways, there were a lot of misinterpretations and some hurt feelings, and the letter I received was very difficult to handle, especially for me; a teenage girl. I know I am most-likely going to be faced with a lot of situations like this in the future, but I think that this one may have been a lot easier to handle if I were older or had more experience with these types of situations. The letter made me feel really bad, because I had already been feeling bad about the situation, but I realized how much I had hurt him, and I was completely unaware of it. I was also kind of having issues with my parents about the situation. We had conflicting opinions, and my parents had really really liked the guy, so not only did I feel as if they were not on my side, but I felt as if they were making me feel guilty on purpose and liked the guy more than they liked me; their own daughter. My letter responding to him took a lot of prayer to write. Music also really helped (what a coincidence!!! :D) I wanted God’s guidance so I could write an effective letter that would set things straight once and for all without hurting the guy again.

It seems like none of us have time for the things we used to do as kids, even the really fun, yet totally impractical and childish things. In fact, some of our childhood joys and entertainment games have become work to us now, like leaves. When we were little, we could spend hours and hours raking up our backyard leaves into gigantic orange and yellow mounds, taking turns endlessly running and bounding into the leaves at full speed with a crunch. Leaves were a source of entertainment for hours upon hours during the fall, and now it seems like leaves have turned into dead, messy tree waste that just has to be disposed of as soon as winter comes. We don’t even make time to get a jump or two in before the cold sets in and the leaves are just wasted old memories of a past Autumn long ago.

So, after all of this had happened, and I had felt as if I am just having the worst year I have ever had, and NOTHING had been going even a little bit right since June, and then this whole situation and the letter, I went to church this Sunday morning. I felt as if the message were totally and fully directed towards me, though I was a little confused as far as what to do with that information (more prayer!). I realized that (as much as I don’t feel like it is) God is working on me through all of these trials, and in a way, the trials really are the best thing for me. They are making me grow, building me stronger in my walk, and possibly even preparing me for life as an adult. So, God works in mysterious ways (music, message, trials). He has a much bigger plan for us than we have for ourselves; even a bigger plan for me that I have for myself (Miss... Plan Ahead/ College/ High-Achiever/ Plan My Future 5 Years in Advance!)

So, I’m going to leave off with part of one of my favorite songs, one of the ones that has been trying to help get me through this whole mess. It was also (ironically) part of the message taught at church this morning; God might be poking us (trials), and it might hurt (a lot), but it really is what is better for us in the long run, because God knows what type of pot we will become before he even starts molding...

And You said I know that this will hurt, but if I don’t break your heart, then things will just get worse. When the burden seems too much to bear, remember... the end will justify the pain it took to get us there.

And I’ll let it be known, times are as shown, signs of all my weakness. But, somewhere in me there is strength. And You promise me that You believe in time I will defeat this, cause somewhere in me, there is strength. And today I will trust You with the confidence, of a man who’s never known defeat. And, I’ll try my best to forget that that man isn’t me.

Reach out to me, make my heart brand knew. Every beat will be for You. For You... And I know You know You touched my life, when You touched my heavy heart and made it light.

Music is a really big part of my life, and I love it. I also love that there is so much good music around that is awesome and actually glorifies God. It is also like a ritual of mine to listen to Relient K all the way back from a Cross Country meet, and I also listened to them all the way to and from District. I love their music, and it just totally helps me unwind after the stress of a meet. And, what I have noticed is that there are certain songs that just totally define my life or what I am going through at that particular time, or what I feel like saying. So, I’ve kind of mushed them all together, and the message the mush reflects is kinda cool...

And I’m still waiting for you to be the one I’m waiting for.

I had no idea where my heart was at, but if my heart says I’m sorry, can we leave it at that? Because I just want for all of this to end.

When I got tired of running from You, I stopped right there to catch my breath. Then Your words, they caught my ears. You said, "I miss you son. Come home." And, my sins, they watched me leave and in my heart I so believed. The love You felt for me was mine. The love I’d wished for all this time. And when the doors were closed, I heard no I told you so’s. I said the words I knew You knew. Oh God, oh God, I needed You. And I so hate consequences. Running from You is what my best defense is. Cause I know that I let You down, and I don’t want to deal without. In the back of our minds, our problems seem so small. But, they grow on us like gravity. But, gravity still makes us fall. I feel like I would like to be somewhere else doing something that matters. And, I’ll admit here, while I sit here, my mind wastes away and my doubts start to gather. What’s the purpose? It feels worthless. So unwanted like I’ve lost all my value. I can’t find it. Not in the least bit, and I’m just scared, so scared that I’ll fail You. And sometimes I think that I’m not any good at all. And sometimes I wonder why I’m even here at all, but then You assure me I’m a little more than useless. And when I think that I can’t do this, You promise me that I’ll get through this and do something right for once. And all this time I never thought that all we had would come to not. Know I’ll always love you, but right now I just don’t like you. And wisdom always chooses these black eyes and these bruises over the heartache that they say never completely goes away. What happened to us? I heard that it’s me we should blame. And why didn’t you stop me from turning out this way? Stop right there, I never should have said that. It’s the very moment that I wish that I could take back. Our concentration, it contains a deadly flaw. Our conversations change from words to ‘blah blah blah’. We took prescription drugs, but look how much good that did. Well, I think I had a point, but I just got distracted. Lately it just seems to me that we have the letters A.D.D. branded into our mentality. We simply can’t focus on anything. Break the cycle of the double edged sword of being lazy and being bored. Who I am hates who I’ve been. Cause I was absolutely sure I had it all figured out, way back then, and now it’s this minute, this hour, this day... And, after this day, it’s this week all over again.Cause I know I don’t wanna die sitting here watching my life go by. Because all of us are too stuck to a chair watching our lives blow up. Cause we’re so scared to find out what this life’s all about. So scared we’re gonna lose it. Not knowing all along that’s exactly what we need. Never forget, there’s life after death... and taxes. Forgiveness comes, and all of the rest just passes away. From my thoughts I will exclude... The very thing I hate more than everything is the way I’m powerless to dictate my own words. As I exhale, I hear Your voice. Then and there I confess I’ll blame all this on my selfishness. Yet You love me, and that consumes me. And, I’ll stand up again, and do so willingly. When I go down, I lift my eyes to You. I won’t look very far, cause You’ll be there, with open arms to lift me up again. To lift me up again...When I go down, I go down hard. And, I take everything I’ve learned, and teach myself some disregard. And of the things that got me there, I think if only I would have fought them. And this is how I choose to live, as if I’m jumping off a cliff, knowing that You’ll save me. And after all the stupid things I did, there’s nothing left to forgive, because You already forgave me.

Don’t know whether or not how sad I just got was on my own volition or if I’m just missing the sun. And tomorrow I know will be rainy at best. And, the forecast I know is that I’ll be depressed. But I’ll wait outside, hoping I’ll catch sight of the sun. Because on and off, the clouds have fought, for control over the sky. And lately the weather has been so bi-polar, and consequently so have I. But now I’m sunny with a high of ‘75 since You took my heavy heart and made it light, and it’s funny how you find you enjoy your life when you’re happy to be alive.

You said, I know that this will hurt. But, if I don’t break your heart, then things will just get worse. When the burden seems too much to bear, remember... The end will justify the pain it took to get us there.

Reach out to me, make my heart brand new. Every beat will be for You. For You... And I know You know You’ve touched my life when You touched my heavy heart and made it light.

When we are kids, most things are so innocent to us. We love dressing up for Halloween. We don’t really think of it as the Devil’s Holiday at all, we are just really excited that we get to dress up as furry things or wear a mask, funky ears, fuzzy footsies, or wings. And, of course kids aren’t too disappointed about being able to get free candy just by ringing a doorbell.

I still remember one Halloween. I must have been about five, Brian was almost two, and Erik was thirteen. I was so excited about dressing up for Halloween that year. I was going to be a bunny. My tiny pink bunny costume lay folded up in a plastic bag on my mom’s dresser, and everyday, I would saunter into my parents’ room, walk up to the big mahogany dresser, go up on tip-toe, and look on top of the dresser to see my costume pressed neatly beneath the plastic covering. I was so excited that I would even have dreams about Halloween. Some of them were pretty bazar, too. Anyway, that glorious dress-up day came. My brother Brian was a plump baby pumpkin with pudgy cheeks and a bald little head. Erik, being a "cool" thirteen year old, was a mickey mouse ninja, with big floppy Mickey Mouse ears and clad in a Mickey Mouse suit, Black Belt, and a plastic sword. And, I was a furry, innocent little pink bunny with big fluffy white bunny ears and a huge floppy bunny tail. And, all that night, I insisted on roaring like a lion at everyone, including my mom when she was taking our Halloween pictures. What a sweet little bunny I was! My mom used to be pretty into the dress up part of Halloween, too. She loved dressing my brothers and I up in cute little costumes and painting our faces, and then taking lots and lots of pictures. One year, my dad and her even dressed up as clowns (not just ANY clowns either, nope, they went all out). Anyway, I sat up on the counter that year as my mom delicately and artistically painted my face with a great big bunny nose, long bunny whiskers, pink cheeks and freckles. I was pretty excited about that, too. That is, until my mom proudly turned me around and showed me the mirror. My eyes got as big as Jaw Breakers, and I started crying. So, my mom had to wash all of the carefully placed paint-art off of my face. Then we went trick-or treating. My dad would drive us all over the place, then park and get out with us, walking his three kids up to each doorstep, ringing each doorbell and yelling TRICK-OR-TREAT as loud (and as cute) as we could. And, one of the other cool and special things that took place that year was the first snow of that year, right on Halloween night; covering the world with a spooky white as eager trick-or-treaters trekked through the snow from door to door, downing candy as they ran. Good times.

The painting loomed there like a memory. It looked out over the room, keeping watch. It saw everything; every movement that went on in the busy room. It looked weathered, as if it had seen many seasons, but in reality, it had never even seen the outside of it's box. It was nestled inside a thin layer of glass, a plastic covering, a frame, and a cardboard box. There wasn't really anything special about the painting by appearence; no sparkles or glitter, no bright red or vibrant colors, not a scene of city wonder or the splendor of country life. No, it was just a plain painting. Shades of olive green and mauves covered the still life canvas; a crooked vase leaning against an old pillar and a few wilted leaves filled the page. Nobody really noticed the painting, even when it was hung up on the wall for all who entered to see. Instead, people would pass it by and admire the shiny plaques on the walls, or the expensive wall paintings adorned with massive shiny frames and intricate details. They sparsely even noticed the painting. In fact, no one even noticed when the painting fell off the wall one day. For years, the painting sat behind the tv cabinet, rejected, unnoticed, and alone. Finally, one day, a girl discovered the painting. She was cleaning the cobwebs from behind the tv cabinet and fished the old thing out. Her bright eyes treasured the antique. She sat down on the floor and began the rub the dust from the old painting with care; polishing and nurturing, until the painting was restored. Once again, the painting was placed upon the wall for all to see. The other paintings and plaques in the room had long since lost their shine and luster. They were tarnished and chipped, and cobwebs hung from the corners. Their sparkles looked cheesy, the frames tacky. They were just gawdy pieces of furniture now, but the painting, in all its plain glory, was now a treasured classic.

At first, I really had absolutely NO idea why I was writing about a painting, but I went with it, and now this story reminds me of something...

Jesus didn't come to the world as a king, an emperor, or a ruler, adorned in a crown, gold, jewels, or perfume. He was born in a stable with goats, sheep, pigs, and cows. And, when He was older, He didn't go around boasting or walking around showing off all His splendor. He walked around barefoot, showing love to the lame, poor, and weary. Jesus didn't force anyone to believe in Him or show favoritism. He showed love and acceptance to all and died for our sins so we wouldn't have to suffer like He did. He loves us soooo much, we can't even comp rehend how awesome He is and how undeserving we are. Heavenly Father, thank You so much for loving me and being there for me when no one else is. thank you for always listening and for being my friend. Lord, I can't even comprehend a sp eck of your glory. Thank You for being my Heavenly Father and for loving me. I give my heart, my soul, and my will up to You, Lord. My life is in Your hands. I love You!!! In Jesus name I pray... Amen. 

Sheets of rain laced through a gloomy sky filled with grayish clouds and left little wet slashes on all of the runners’ shoes as they slomped over drenched sidewalks and through soggy streets. A strange sensation washed over me with the rain. I was excited and had a "butterfly" type of feeling in my stomach like I usually do, ready to run and see how I will do today, but there was also a nagging reluctance there, because somewhere deep inside, I knew that the rest of the team would be waiting on me, and I would be one of the last ones in. But, the two days of rain during practice and the relief of the Homecoming Week stress somehow brought a silver lining out with the rain. My feet picked up the pace, the burning in my legs and stomach started to decrease as the throbbing in my ears began to increase. I felt my endurance and adrenaline building as the rain beat against my cheeks, and the little bit of mascara I was wearing dripped off my nose with the rain. These past couple of days, I had been doing much much better in practice. I had even raced Toby (fast, short eighth grade kid with huge hair and the ability to make Varsity- Jerome’s little brother), and made him have to do extra push ups for a change! It was awesome to feel that sense of accomplishment, and to actually feel pride instead of disappointment after you get done with running. An, "I did good today" thing, instead of an "I can do better" one. On the way back, my friend Lab and I splashed through the puddles as we ran. His hair fell out of the long braid he always wears and a mass of shiny wet black spirly hair spilled out. We splashed through the puddles, and kicked water up at each other. I felt like a third grader again, and I was suddenly weightless, happy and gliding through the rain on a Thursday afternoon. And, Wooo hoooo for Sabrina!!! Coach told her she is running Varsity on Saturday, which actually isn’t what she wanted and she is scared to death, but I think that’s awesome, and I hope I might get the chance to do that someday.So, after practice, we were all fully drenched, with sore ears, and sneezing. I took a deep breath and looked up past the little swirling flurries of rain into a beautiful rainbow. With that promise, being sixteen now, running through the rain, feeling like a kid again, and the fact that the traffice light by the tracks is FINALLY fixed now, made it a wonderfulous day.

~Smiles4Jesus~

Homecoming week at Los Lunas High School started off in a whirl of excitement, with people dressing up, laughing hysterically, snapping pictures like crazy, and planning fashions for the magical night at the end of the week that many had been dreaming about for weeks; some maybe even since the summer. Then, just as suddenly, it was all over; gone in that same wild rush of excitement. It didn’t even seem real, like maybe it didn’t even really happen at all, but then you glance back at the pictures of the beautiful people with shiny dreamy faces and glossy smiles, and you realize that it happened all right; it happened to you even. But, it was just a tiny wrinkle in time; already behind you, in the past. I don’t really even know how I feel about Homecoming exactly, even after experiencing it. I mean, I was there, but I don’t really feel like I was. I remember being so nervous before. Actually, it wasn’t even really that I was that nervous, I was just having second thoughts, especially when Zach called and said that they were going to pick me up and take me back to their house to take pictures. One: MORE pictures added onto the zillion my mom was about to take and Two: driving all the way back to his house in Bosque Farms, probably with him and his DAD, to take PICTURES at his house... just seemed really awkward to me, and I was scared, I admit it.

In fact, the entire day of Homecoming had been pretty stressful for me. It was home meet (the day of Homecoming it just so happens). Well, to make a long story short, I began and ended my race with an anxiety attack, my brother broke his wrist at a soccer game, my parents got lost, and I got stuck in traffic on the way home to get ready for homecoming. So, it was an.... "eventful" day, no doubt. My brother’s fine by the way, and he is very proud of his PINK cast.

So, with Homecoming Week finally over, this week seems to be going a LOT better for em for some reason. My birthday has come and gone again. I am sixteen. Sweet Sixteen. But, the problem is that I don’t really feel very sweet, and I don’t really feel sixteen because I’m not exactly sure how sixteen is suppose to feel. I don’t feel any different, but I am a lot closer to all of the people on the team, and they made me feel AWESOME on my birthday. I mean, I had family that forgot my birthday, my brothers forgot my birthday, Zach forgot, and I even almost forgot my own birthday!!!! but... the cross country team was awesome, and I felt so loved.

So, I know everyone is always commenting about how much time flies, but it really really does. I mean, people plan things for weeks and months... like Homecoming, birthdays, weddings, first dates, first kiss, and first and last days of school, and then they pass us by, and we are left scratching our heads, staring at strangely familiar faces on photographs, and wondering where the time goes. It makes me realize that I don’t even come close to understanding how limited our time here is. I also realize now that I DON’T realize just how brief our lives are, and it only takes a split second, and life is gone.

Heavenly Father, thank you so much for everything that you have given to me and blessed me with; with family and friends, gifts and talents, healthiness and happiness. God, I know that I take you and my life for granted, and I am so sorry for doing that. Father, please don’t allow me to get caught up in the little, petty things and teenage drama that life throws at me and everyone, Lord. I know I am never alone. I give You my will and my heart completely. I know that You will always take care of it, because You always have. Thank You Father. I love You! G’night!

A flustered girl with wet hair, clad in a tiny bright orange uniform and a sweatshirt yawned her way down the stairs into a soggy Saturday morning. But, it didn’t feel like morning. The sky was dark and stars still speckled from behind a cloudy sky.

On the curb at the Tiger Swimming Pool Parking lot, water shimmered, reflecting the dim streetlight overhead. Finally, the bus rolled into the parking lot, and people began to load, yawning and clutching pillows and blankets, eager to snuggle into one of those big cold leather bus seats. The girl made her way up the isle slowly and slid sleepily into the fifth seat. There was a slight delay, and then the bus was rolling through the parking lot, and Coach was calling names and marking them off on a list, and Manager Girl passed out snack bags with each person’s name on it and a little message on the side that said, "Good luck!" As the bus crept onto the freeway, I felt as if we were in an airplane, gliding through the darkness on a runway headed for a distant place somewhere off in the future. Then, the bus light came on, and Coach was walking up and down the isles, distributing healthy food. First, little orange juice boxes, then yogurt, bananas, strawberries, and melon.

There was a faint sleepy murmur on the bus, then it faded, the lights went out, and we were on the airplane again; we were little dots, ants, soaring together through the oblivion. I snuggled into my sweatshirt in the corner of my seat, wishing I had worn my pajamas, wishing I had brought my pillow, wishing sleep would find me. All I could think about was the short girl on the team. The one with the knee injury, who had cussed about my dad as soon as I had arrived at the school, waiting in the rain for the bus to come. My dad had sped up, 65 in a 45 zone to get in front of her on the way there because we were late as usual and she kept speeding up, so my dad sped up more to get in front of her. Later, she was really mad about it. But, who is in a good mood that early, right? All the same, that was all I could think about. Come on Kristina, think happy thoughts, but then I started thinking about how I was becoming independent, and how we were losing our innocence. Think about... bunnies! Or, think about your Homecoming date. Yes, Homecoming. So, I did. I thought about how sweet he had been. How he had called that night and had acted a little strange on the phone when I answered it, how he had asked to talk to my mom, and how his mom told me he fell over after he got done talking to my mom, and how he had wanted to ask for my dad, but my dad had a "big personality" so he was a little scared to ask him. And how, an hour later, he had called me and asked me to Homecoming after he had sucked up enough of his nervousness to call. I remembered calling my best friend just before that. We were both jumping up and down, exchanging spastic and excited comments, and planning for the magical night.

I glanced out the window at the opaqueness stretching out before me, the dimness of the New Mexican desert spreading beyond and consuming us, bus and all. I leaned up against my cross country backpack and looked out at the scene before me as the sun was preparing to creep slowly from its hiding place behind the Sandia Mountains. We were still on the airplane. We were little dots, ants, soaring together through the oblivion. And, we would rise with the sun in Alamogordo, just a few hours in the future.

Have you ever had a day where EVERYTHING just seems to go... WRONG??? Well, it just so happens that, for me, that day was the first day of school. So, I am a sophomore this year, finally!, and I was beginning to get fairly excited about going to school again, to see everyone that I have missed over the months and just to have something to do for a change, since the summer tends to make laziness, boredome, and anxiousness grow.

Being me, I tend to stress about things and I can't sleep because these things tug at my mind when I am lying there at night, sleepless. So, it was a given that Thursday was to be one of those sleepless nights for me. So, four hours of sleep later, I woke up to the buzzing of a disfunctional alarm clock, and ran to get ready for school in time. Reluctantly, I figeted with the rollers in my hair and took them out. See, I had just got a hair cut the week before, and it was going to look cute for the first day right? Well, a crease at the top, fuzzed out bangs, and a washing ten minutes before I had to be out the door sent me on my way to school. And, the dog had to have her shots the day before, and I think they did it wrong, and she had a serious allergic reaction, and the poor baby was sick. Before I left for school, I thought she might die, so I told them to make sure and call the vet that day. in the meantime, my brother was yelling at me to go, so I told him to get the gate while I started up the car. Well, I thought i got the key stuck in the ignition again like the blond that i am, but the battery was dead, so my mom had to drive us, and I was five minutes late to Spanish, where my caucasion sanish teacher was lecturing about stupid things. The rest of school was pretty good, I even have lunch with EVERYONE, so school was fine until...it started raining ( I mean, not just rain, A down pour like New Mexico has never seen!) in fourth period. (there are 67 kids in my 3rd AND 4th periods, but yeah) So, Lynch told us to take 5 and look at the rain. I looooove the rain (almost as much as strawberry ice cream. I said ALMOST though) the smell, the wetness, just everything. But... after fourth, my friend Zach and I were talking about how it would be funny to have to walk home in the rain or not have a ride or something. then, my friend Mikolann and I started out for the parking lot since the car was broken down, my mom had to come back from Albuquerque early to pick me up. 5 minutes (fun, rain rain rain!), 15 minutes (rain dripping off my nose, out of my shirt, joking about being SOAKED through) Mikolann's dad came and she asked if I needed a ride, but I ddint want my mom the have a cow, so i just called her and left a pretty interestingly funny message on the machine, 30 minutes (ok, taking on all characteristics of rain now, Britt and I are the only ones out here, did you forget about me? Is the rain my only friend?) FGINALLY, my mom comes, and I leave a bewildered Brittney Flores standing out in the rain still. Then, it took us LITERALLY a WHOLE hour to get two miles down the road to my brother's school the traffic was sooo bad. So, we finally get there, and he's NOT there, and we thought he was kidnapped! We go home, traffic, traffic, traffic. Maybe he walked or got a ride and he's back home. nope, not there. So, my mom went driving around Los Lunas THROUGH the traffic to find him, and he was at the school. Meanwhile, I was pet-sitting,and I ALREADY had a HUGE load of homework waiting for me, plus my NEW $63 dollar books in my backpack which were DRENCHED from the rain, along with my new purse and shoes, but it's all good, the day is OVER, and there's always tomorrow! Thank God, there's always tomorrow!

Everyone has a soft spot somewhere deep inside. Certain things tend to affect this soft spot. It can be a movie or television program, something someone says, a book, or even a song. Well, one day last week, my mom and I were taking a trip to Albuquerque. I was driving, so my mom was messing with the radio to see if there were any good songs on. For some weird reason, she ended up leaving it on a station we hardly listen to, but what I heard made me cry out of the blue for hardly any reason at all. The song was "Butterfly Kisses." I guess this song got to me so much because when I was little, I would always give everyone "butterfly kisses." A butterfly kiss was eyelash to eyelash, and I would always give my daddy butterfly kisses at night before I went to sleep at night. Then, I got thinking about the future and how fast we change and grow and how fast time flies...but anyway...

Why is it that dogs can get all clean in the bath and become are fresh and sparkly clean, fluffy, and more energetic, and you just want to eat them up, which is like once every couple of weeks, and then they go roll in something disgusting. Sandy just did that, and let me tell you, I have never smelled anything that disgusting and atrocious, and just blek. So, I had to go give her a bath, and now I smell like stink bug and she's all clean again. but,t he ironic and just fabulous thing is that my dad just let her outside to... roll on stink bugs, I mean, go "potty." It's a never-ending saga with pets, and we wouldn't have it any other way.

~smiles4Jesus!~ &nbs p; stinasunset

You know what? I have noticed that music is a type of therapy. I mean, it can be soothing, take your mind off things, help you have a good time, worship, sad, sweet, or something to just jam out to. And, if you listen to the lyrics in some songs, I mean really listen to them, they can become a type of therapy. I also truly believe that Jesus can speak through the lyrics of a song, because when I was oblivious to it, having a hard time, and just feeling sucky, I was listening to the radio, and the songs that I really needed to hear "mysteriously" popped on the radio. Here are some of the lurics that made me think and thank God for His music each and everyday...

Take all your feelings, and put 'em aside,

And get what matters on your mind!

All you love will surely come and go,

And life is all your moments in a row.

No more crying for the days gone by.

And no one ever loses if they try!

and...

'cause I don't want you to know where I am
'cause then you'll see my heart
in the saddest state it's ever been.

This is no place to try and live my life.

I talk to absolutely no one.
Couldn't keep to myself enough.
And the things bottled inside have finally begun
to create so much pressure that I’ll soon blow up.

Stop right there. That's exactly where I lost it.
See that line. Well I never should have crossed it.
Stop right there. Well I never should have said
that it's the very moment that
I wish that I could take back

Lord, thank you for the countless little details You have blessed me with each and everyday, to keep me going. I want to worship You with everything. Take my will, make it Yours. Help me not to take offense, not to be hurt easily with all the changes that are going on with me and with my friends and people around me. Speak to me, and use me. Show me YOUR calling for my life Lord Jesus. I LOVE You!

~Smiles4Jesus~

Sometimes I get so tired of being tired, and sometimes I get so sick of being sick. This is all at the fault of drama. See, to me, drama makes people actually act like a person from a drama (soap opera). It's pathetic. And, what is interesting to me is that the definition of drama according to Mr. Webster is: A series of events as interesting or exciting as a play. *cough *cough. I think that is a typical stereotype, and people have made drama seem that way. in fact, if we act dramatic enough, people might remember us more or think us more interesting. Well, I am sick of it. But, as the song goes, there is nothing new under the sun, so for all of us "drama lovers" out here in the real world, we have to deal with it, and pray about it so we don't go completely out of our minds, I guess. Pray. :roll:

~smiles4Jesus~ Stinasunset

I Wish

By: Stinasunset

Every little girl dreams up her own fairytale

A perfect ending and dreams that never fail

A life of fun and days filled with laughter

All a girl ever wanted was her own happy ever after

{Chorus...}

She said: I wish- I had a perfect prince

I wish- life made so much sense

I wish- I lived like a- princess Cinderella

A dream, a life, a ball, and my own: perfect fella

She said: there’s got- to be more to life,

than> every day highs

that> lift us up to the sky

And then> bring us crashing down again

(I wish) I were Cinderella

I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish, I wish I were Cinderella

{Bridge...}

So Cinderella, put on your crown

You’re already a princess

So, put the glass slipper down!

(Chorus)

Author's Note~

    & nbsp; This song was partly inspired by an issue of a Christian teen girl magazine I had been reading and a book and song called "Wait for Me" by Rebecca St. James. The article's intent was to make the consumer realize she is REALLY a princess because her Daddy is The King. The article made me think, especially because of some of the stuff that had been going on around me and in my life at the time. So, I concluded that our Heavenly Father made each of us in His own image. he made EACH of us with a GREAT amount of detail, uniqueness, and beauty, and we are to serve and delight in Him in everything we do. And, as far as the fairytale dream goes, we should settle for no less. "The Dream" IS placed in us by God; a natural desire. God's plan for us is in Jeremiah 29:11. And, when we follow His plan, there are WONDERFUL blessings in store for us. So, we should always picture ourselves as Jesus' princess/prince under our King's watchful eyee; intent upon serving Him with every move, step, intimacy, breath, EVERYTHING. "He who united himself with the Lord is one with Him in spirit. Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his OWN body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God? You aren't your own; you were bought at a price. therefore, honor God with your body." (1 Corinthians 6:17-20). Don't give up on the dream. God makes the plans that turn the dreams to realities.

I am all psyched now! I'm not really sure why. I guess it's like a whirl of nerves and excitement washing over you all in a rush, with the whole package of jitteriness, shaking fingers, butterflies, and that whole thing, and then it turns out to be fine or not a big deal and you are left with a mood that sort of feels like a sugar rush.

So, everything is happening in such a flurry. It seems like I was just a freshman, timidly talking to friends on the first day, wandering shyly through the halls, lost and trying to find classes. Now, summer is already almost coming to a close for me, and whoooooooosh I'm a sophomore. Another thing I have noticed recently is how much we all change. If the former me would have known the current me a year ago... let's just say they wouldn't exactly be friends. Even as I have grown older, my interests have changed and I barely even noticed at all. A year ago, I cared if i fit in, made sure my socks DIDNT match, and that I was more original than most people, and if atleast ONE guy liked me, I was fine. Now, I don't have time for any of it, I am concerned with the future, extra-curriculars, church, college, guys~call me in a couple years if you're cute: jk, and whether I qualify for discounts on my auto insurance or not. And, I'm sure this doesn't matter to most of the readers out there (even thoguh there's only like....two and I can name them...) time passes so quickly, we change and don't even realize it, time flies whoooooooosh, which is why my big thing is (and my friends probly get sick of hearing this) live for the long term, not the short term. Care about the little things in life. Appreciate the  little daily annoyances, and thank God daily.

~Smiles for Jesus!~ stinasunset  

Why are things so complicated? Or, are things just so complicated because, in reality, WE make them that way all by ourselves? Actually, I, in particular, tend to stress about things that are importatnt, but I probly shouldn't worry too much about just yet, you know? Like, schedule changes (my school somehow managed to give me two World Histories, among other stupid things, and my mom calledt o figure it out, and ended up getting into a fight with the secretary~yeah) and college stuff and carreer stuff, and university major stuff, and sport stuff. But, God's in charge, so why worry right?

Lord, thank you for making my life a lot less complicated than  it COULD be. My will is Yours. I know You will take good care of it. Thank you so much for being King of my life, because it would be a WHOLE lot more messy, worisome, tiresome, and just STUPID if I were in control. Thank You Father. love ya! :roll:

~Stinasunset :D

Hey there everyone,

    & nbsp; So, for this blog entry, I want anyone who reads this to tell me a couple of things abuot them, because I want to get to know you all! (Actually, I am checking the time zone because I somehow managed to mess it up. Hey, I DID warn you that I am a blonde right?)

Ok, I guess I will go first... 

My best friend is Jesus Christ, because He is the ONLY one that will never let me down.

I loooooove strawberry ice cream, oh, and spinach (not together!)

I have too many favorite bands to count, but RelientK ROCKS, mostly because they are from Canadia.

and... Go Skittles!!!!!!!

Your turn! Send me quizzes or just type your favorite food or your opinions on dating, music, and FOOOOOD!!! Interested in hearing from you!!!

~Smiles4Jesus!~ :D Stinasunset :D

Hey there everyone! As you might have already heard several times on tblog, a group of our beloved little New Mexicans ventured off to Peru earlier this month. Well, actually, it has been about twelve days, and their flight will most-likely be delayed a little due to the hurricane issues that have been happening lately. in fact, living in New Mexico all of my life, I don't think I ever realized thast hurricanes are CRAZY and serious until my brother (who just finished college in Pensacola) got evacuated twice because of hurricanes, once his house almost half destroyed. So, pray for the Peru team; that they had a wonderful, life-changing experience, touching lives for Christ in poverty-stricken Peru for the past couple of weeks, and that they return back to our southwest healthy and fine, and more on fire for God! And, also pray that they get home soon so BB quits going crazy and so I don't have to be the one that has to catch his river of tears, lol, jk BB! Well, be praying! 

~Smiles for Jesus!~ :D ;) Stinasunset 

A Lifetime:

10 years ago: I was five. I was always busy drawing things and smiling with braided pigtails and two missing front teeth. I had begun kindergarten, and I was sooo excited when we made Mother’s Day presents. My mom took a picture of me in front of the freshly blooming flowers in the front yard, showing off the plant holder of stickers and construction paper I had created especially for her. I had dimples, overalls, missing front teeth, and my pigtails were flapping in the breeze.

Hey there everyone,

Feel free to comment or reply about anything I've written. I appreciate feedback, and I like to be internet buddies with any fellow high school students or fellow schristians, or just anyone that is bored. And, I actually have a question... what does everyone think about dating? I am interested to hear different opinions, because I have a different opinion about it, so I look forward to hearing your responses. Thanks...

~stinasunset~

a little bit of me from a-z

A-age- 15 3/4
B- band- Relient K, Switchfoot, and Superchic{k}  & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;    c- crush- My crush is Jesus! "Crushes" on boys stopped being cute in second grade   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;         & nbsp;   &n bsp;  d- dads name- Dan e- easiest person to talk to- God
f- favourite ice cream- Double Strawberry
g- gummy bears or worms?- gummy bears, but only for throwing!
h- hometown- Los Lunas i- instruments- Piano... and kazooooo! jk
j- junior high- Los Lunas Middle School k- kids- I like kids! as long as they can go home in a couple of hours
l- longest car ride ever- The van ride to Mexico, but that one was fun! So, I guess the car ride to Durango when I was eleven.
m- moms name- Karen n- nicknames- Little brother calls me Beanie, Parents and annoying relatives call me Krissy, Caitlin and Aaron call me Stina, and teachers call me everything but my name!
o- one wish- I wish I could catch a firefly, or atleast see one for the first time.
p- phobias- Phronmophobia- the fear of thinking! jk q- quote from you- "Success...to laugh often and much." Ralph Waldo Emerson, but my quote changes depending on people around me. r- Reason to smile- Jesus is my creator and Lord of my life always, so i have no reason to frown.
s- song u sang last- "Someday We'll Know" by Mandy Moore and Jon Foreman from Switchfoot t- Time you woke up today- 10:30!!! one good thing about summer!
u- unknown fact about me- I am allergic to chocolate.
v- vegetables you hate- bellpeppers, and I am learning to like them, slowly, but learning!
w- worst habit- I procrastinate, I'm a rusher, I've got self-image issues... The list goes on.
x- x-ray u had - ummm... teeth.
y- years since u been to a religious place- umm... I was at church on Sunday and I'm going tomorrow... No YEARS...GASP!
z- zodiac sign- Libra, but does it really matter in the long run?

Well, here it goes (again). This is my first blog entry. BB has been bugging and nagging at me to write a blog entry. So, here we are...

Have you ever painted overhead for three solid hours before? No, not JUST painting. I mean, strenuous stretching to paint above you, phone on one shoulder, country music blasting in the background, and the strange satisfaction of accomplishment that follow. For some funny reason, I love days like this. Actually, now that I think about it, this entire project (porch project, which had seemed so super stressful before) has given me something great to do during these summer days that seem to stretch on and on without end and leave me lazier and lazier at the end of the day. but, then again, that could just be because I haven't changed out of my pajamas all day, but still.

Yesterday, it was a typical 100 degree day in my beautiful southwestern home, and I was craving ice cream. Not JUSt ice cream, actually, an extra big bowl heaping with cold cold double strawberry that slides down your throat and entirely fills you with a cool sweet buzz feeling, if you know waht I mean. So, I decided that we should make homemade ice cream, like we used to do every July when I was little. So, I jumped in the hot hot oven of a car and head the two blocks to Albertson's to buy whole milk and ice. I hadn't realized that it might be just a little difficult to carry all of this out all by myself, but I managed to waddled back out to the car, weighed down with milk gallons and ice bags, as these little old men, plastered to the little bench outside of the store, laughed at me as I dodged traffic to get back to the hot little car and get back home to make the (medicine) ice cream. And, I can't tell you how good that ice cream tasted that day! And, our dog (Blue's dog, a chihuahua, I know what you're thinking, UGH! Rat dog! which is what I always thought too, but she is the sweetest, most loyal, funniest dog ever!) she LOVES ice cream! So, I think everyone in my family fed her about half a cup of that ice cream each, and tonightt, when I picked her up, it felt as if she had gained about ten pounds!!! I am not kidding, I actually think I might have gained quite a bit of arm muscles just by carrying her around for a while!

Ok, so in conclusion to my first blog entry, I will leave you with a verse that is truly awesome and wonderful if you really think about it. Psalm 3:3~ "But You are a shield around me, O Lord; You bestow Your glory on me and lift up my head. Top the Lord I cry alo9ud, and He anwers from His holy hill!"

Good night!~